4urWorld

Self Portrait:

in my last few posts, I talked about starting to create again.  I painted a picture of myself that I hope portrays what I am experiencing in my life at this time.  I have had a troubled situation in my life, which makes me very sad.

This is the process in my self portrait:

This process was very therapeutic to me, instead of writing my thoughts in a journal, I have put my feelings in my painting of myself.

I am going to keep painting, and I will “Proceed and be Bold“

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These are things that I hated about the year 2008. These are in no particular order or importance. I just hope 2009 is a better year.

1. That my sons and husband thought Sarah Palin was hot.

2. That the Election seemed to last forever.

3. The war

4. The economy

5. The bailout. Where is mine?

6. The cost of gas.

7. That people I love had medical problems.

8. That people I trusted betrayed my trust.

9. That I got another year older. (I want to be 29 forever)

10. That I didn’t win the lottery.

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YES YES YES, AND MOST DEFINITLEY YES !!!

There is no doubt in my mind that all the sleepless nights, all the teething, all the fit throwing, the terrible two ages, the days they are excited about finding a grasshopper or bringing frogs home in there pockets are only the beginning of the joys of parenthood.

Later on in their lives, the sleepless night aren’t because you they are crying or just don’t want to sleep, it is because you are waiting up for them to come home in the wee hours of the morning. The terrible twos are similar to the teenage years where they are discovering their independence as you adults. Grasshoppers and frogs turn into awkward young boyfriends or girlfriends, they decide to bring home.

As your children grow into young adults things change. The worries change, the patience you have with them change. Their need for your love, understanding, and guidance never changes.

I have gone through so many different stages with my children. It goes from them looking up to you, to them being embarrassed by you. It goes from them telling you how much they love you, to them telling you “I hate you”. Never, ever let these words get to you, they do love you. I promise.

I have had my moments where I had to show them some tough love. But you have to stick to your beliefs and not let them rule the household. Set limits and stick by them, but always keep an open mind, and let a few things slide every now and then. Don’t sweat the small stuff, always have an open ear and listen to their words, and opinions.

Parenthood is not an easy job, but it is the most important job in the world. There have been times where the thought has crossed my mind, “Oh I am just a mom, and I haven’t done anything important in my life”.

My Daughter made a statement to me this weekend, which filled my heart with the most heartwarming feeling; I have felt in a long time. My Husband and I went to visit my Daughter at college. She wanted to show us where she was working at an internship job, we went to eat, and then she took us to her college art department to show us her projects she has worked so hard on, that were displayed in the showcase in the art department. She had two projects that made the showcase. I was so proud of her, I knew how much work she had put into them. On the way back to her house, she made the comment “I am so glad I have you guys to share this with, I am so lucky to have people who care about what I love to do.” she continued, ” I have a friend whose mother passed away a couple of years ago, and her father has a girlfriend now, that he is seeing, and he is consumed with her, and my friend doesn’t really have anyone to share her successes with”, ” I am so lucky to have you guys with whom I can show my success with, and know you guys are really proud of me.:

The tears poured down my checks, “This is what it is all about”, I thought to myself. No matter how many times we have disagreed or fought about minor things, it is all worth it. I have never felt so fulfilled about my role as a parent as I did this weekend.

Thank goodness for my three, totally different, children. They have all made me so proud of each and every one of them. They have all shown me their thanks for my role in their lives.

Never ever give up on your children. It is so worth believing in them and showing them you believe them. No matter how many times in their lives they may tell you that they “hate you”, they really love you. I promise!

So if ever in doubt about your decision whether to have children or not, my advice is: Most definitely Yes! It is the most trying but rewarding job you will EVER do.

I Love you Jacob, Ritchie, and Cari. Thank you all for making me the Mother I am, and “Thank you for being the Children, I am proud of and love so dearly. XOXOXO…….. You guys make life worth living.

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A Tale of Two Cities, a novel by Charles Dickens.  I remember this in high school.  I will always remember the opening words of the novel.  These words have stuck in my mind all through my life.

I really can’t remember exactly how the story went, I just remember it was about the French Revolution.  I feel that it may have some reference to how our history goes through times of destruction and resurrection.

Are we at the point of destruction again?  Does history repeat itself?  I have been told all my life the importance of knowing history is because it repeats itself, and that we can learn how to prevent the same mistakes from being made.

Is it like trying to teach our kids from our own mistakes?  We can tell them till we are blue in the face, don’t do this or that, but it seems they have to make their own mistakes, to learn.

During these hard times economically, I worry, I stress, and become very depressed.  I find it hard to not be anxious, as we try to make ends meet, as my oldest son tries to find a job as a recent college graduate.  I worry about my kids and their future.  At the same time I find myself worrying about my aging parents.  I find my life is consumed with negative thoughts.  “Where are the happy times?” I ask myself.

I realize that I need to embrace each and every moment with my parents, and know in my mind that I have raised three wonderfully smart and talented kids.  Things will be okay, because no matter what, we always have the love of family.  I need to stay strong.

My Family

Please get out and vote and start paying attention to what is going on in our world.  When things seem to be going good, we have a tendency take it for granted. When things go wrong we start to blame others, and wonder “how did this happen?”  We all need to work together to make this world a better place.

“These are the best of times, these are the worst of times”

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Yes I Said Passion !

Passion: a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything.

I went shopping yesterday and bought myself something that really excites me. I can get lost in this and it takes me to a different place in my imagination. I can escape everything else and totally get creative.

Most women, when they go shopping, get excited about a new pair of shoes, a new dress, or piece of jewelry to accessorize their outfit. Well not for me, at least not yesterday. I was not in the mood to go to the mall and shop for these things, I was in the mood to buy something that fulfills my deepest desire. I went to the store that specializes in my passion and now I am ready to get creative. Below is a picture of what I bought.

The thing about these colored pencils, is that they are so smooth when you use them, they blend very well and make an excellent tool for sketching. You can actually purchase these products and products like them at ArtCity, Inc.

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